positivity is trending

An open letter to recent high school grads. Mostly things I wish I knew, or things people told me but I wasn’t able to truly “hear.”

In my life so far every transition has felt so big, so scary, and so final. Most transitions were accompanied by tingles of excitement too, like starting a new job. Whereas other big moments, like buying a house, were accompanied by panic attacks that eventually morphed into waves of appreciation. What makes life changes scary is that we always assume they’re final, and that’s what also makes them feel big. But truly, even if a choice or transition sucks or causes pain, the sucking is usually temporary. 

Logically, if you buy a house and later don’t like it, or can’t afford it—you can sell it. If you start a job and hate it—you can get a new one. If you spend four years at university and graduate to find that you hate the field you got a degree in, it will be painful but you can pursue a new field. 

Upon high school graduation whether you go to college, choose a major (or don’t), take a gap year, or have no idea what you want to do at all. That is ok. Graduation is an ending that society and culture have put a ton of pressure on, but what you do in the year after graduation is a drop in the bucket of your life. Maybe you didn’t graduate at all, there’s always a GED (and many other options too). Whatever you choose (or don’t), it is not final, it’s not undoable, you just have to continue.

When it comes to college and finances
If you are heading to college, first things first, fully understand how your loans work, how the interest works, and do your best to get an estimate of what your loans will cost you by the time you graduate. I found this compound interest calculator that may help. 

Why? Here’s my cautionary tale, I did not understand how my loans worked, and I did not take the time to educate myself. Everything was too overwhelming and what I would owe was a problem for a tomorrow four years in the future. Big mistake. Big. Although I borrowed what seemed like smallish amounts each semester, I graduated with $75k in loans, thanks to something called compound interest.

At my first post college job, 37% of my salary was accounted for before I even took it home. I don’t regret going through that because it taught me a lot about money management and personal grit, but I’d love to spare anyone else that pain. 

The second thing to focus on, from a financial standpoint is that if you do take out loans make sure to pay a small amount toward the principal each month, especially if they have compound interest. I’m serious, even if it’s $5, $10, $20 dollars, it’s still better than nothing and will make a difference in the long run.

Choosing “the right” path
My journey took me to college, but that’s not everyone’s journey. For some people it doesn’t make financial sense. Or worse, choosing college won’t make them happy or fulfilled. Here’s what my “career” journey looked like.

Creative Writing degree→ Job in Communications, Public Sector→Internal Communications, Private Sector→Unemployed→Marketing specialist, Hardware Manufacturer→Product Marketer, Software→Technical Product Marketer, Software

Not listed above are various side jobs I held in addition to make ends meet. I’m fully anti-hustle culture, but you should be aware that living independently is expensive. This means you may have to work multiple jobs at different points in your life. In high school I worked at Target and Starbucks, in college I worked at Target, Starbucks, Babysat, and had a work study at a hospital giftshop. In my mid-twenties I worked a full-time job and babysat until my early thirties to help cover my bills (due the crushing weight of the aforementioned compound interest). 

Was I tired? Yes. Did it make me rich? No. But I knew no matter what I could depend on myself to do what was needed and to get through. Learning that is worth more than anything else I’ve learned in my life. 

No matter what your journey looks like, you can “un-choose” it later if it no longer works. Ideally you’d do this with the least financial impact possible, but sometimes that’s just not the journey. Things to consider when you choose your path include:

• What kind of life do you see yourself living? How much money will that life require? 
• What do you enjoy doing? 
• What’s the intersection of what you enjoy doing, what you’re naturally good at, and what pays reasonably well? 

I mention pay and money because those are required to live, (and I am guilty of enjoying material indulgences now that I can afford them) but maybe you don’t care about money or health insurance at all. That’s fine too, but that’s outside of my personal experience.

If college isn’t the right path for you, there are tons of career options that don’t require a college degree. They may require job training, or some sort of certification, but you won’t be relegated to the ivory tower. Here are some practical suggestions to get your wheels turning (not an exhaustive list).

• The trades: plumbers, electricians, carpenters, HVAC tech, welder, etc.
• Retail- a lot of big box stores pay managers living wages and offer benefits once you work your way up.
• Laborers Union
• Cosmetology/Hairdressing/Esthetics
• Open your own business-landscaping, housecleaning, etc. 

Managing your mindset
Remembering that you have choices, and the ability to make changes when needed will get you far. But there’s more to it than that, things will be hard, things will feel scary. Bad things will happen like injuries, breakups, losses, and embarrassing moments.

To this day, my cheeks feel hot when I recall spilling a beer on someone at a hockey game eight plus years ago. Although it was accidental, and he was gracious about it, in that moment I willed myself to disappear. But it was only a moment. Since then there have been many other, beautiful moments alongside the scary ones. Wade forward through the hard moments and try to pause in the good ones, everything will work out and you’ll eventually find peace.